Dragonfly only. No photos of nieces?

Lauder dragonfly,
originally uploaded by darnib.

One of my favorite creatures is the dragonfly. When I was a little girl and we'd go on family picnics or fishin' (yeah I fished), they were everywhere, close to water. Now I see them in places where there is no water, like on campus - no rivers and lakes around - but water must be near, something has changed to bring them closer. On Friday, during my class break, I had lunch outside and unknown to me when I stepped outside of the doors, they were there as a greeting, swooping and fluttering around my head. I didn't bat them away (or pack up my lunch and leave), like I would normally. I simply enjoyed the show and seeing how the sun glinted on their wings.

I have had to find new things to photograph after my brother-in-law accused me of putting my nieces in harms way. Finding other things to capture is good but being accused of taking provocative pictures of my youngest niece is not a good thing. For the life of me, I don't see anything sexual in nature about this photo. She struck the pose. It was her eyes, the facial expression and the "don't mess with me" attitude that prompted me to grab the camera. My intentions in uploading the photo to my flickr page was not to tempt or titillate a pedophile. For him to suggest otherwise makes me wonder about him.

According to him, a man who had pornography on his flickr page left comments about the photo. Just to show the extremes he will go to to maniuplate a situation, the man turned out to be a woman and she's a photographer and artist in NY. Porn photos are not on her flickr page. And these accusations come from a man who enjoys porn and has left it lying around in sight of his children.

I've always had a disdain for this man but being an in-law and my sister in-love with him, I've been civil and cordial - even when the hate for him was stronger than my love is for my daughter especially his being nasty and downright disrespectful towards my mother (refusing to let her see her grandchildren, etc).

Still, since they are his children, despite my sister granting permission, I blocked all of the photos from public viewing when he first complained early this summer (even though he left anonymous comments about the photos on flickr and here as well, commenting about them being "great" and I have his IP address as proof. This is his way of flexing muscle. Just so the world knows, he has a gun too so who knows what he may do next. He had become violent, especially with his oldest daughter - there are photos of the bruises and eye witnesses - which was the final reason for his wife and daughters packing up and leaving.

Now, my sister and her four girls are living with our youngest sister - rather living off because he got her fired from her job (accusing her of having an affair with the owner of the company, even confronted the owner several times - the owner is gay, living with his partner). My youngest sister is a full-time student studying law and a full time manager - her life is FULL but "this man" called brother-in-law has not called her and offered to compensate her for the added stress and cost of his children living in her home and her having to feed and clothe them and use her car/gas to take and pick them up from school EVERY DAY! You'd think his being so concerned for the well-being of his children, he would do that. YET he called yesterday while I visited to complain about the "provocative" photo on the internet, making a vague threat of "If the photo isn't removed by Monday, I will . . ." Apparently I had forgotten to block that particular photo so I told my sister that I'd remove it if she wanted and her reply, with a sigh was: "Please, if you don't mind," the sound of defeat in her voice made me angry with her for a brief moment. He's been emotionally abusive - she speaks in a whisper, almost baby-like because he made the comment to her that her family is "loud" - I'm sure that's supposed to be an insult (Lord knows it is not) but he doesn't seem to recognize the joy and passion that comes along with family get-togethers. Carl said that just means he's intimidated by "your family, especially the women."

This weekend marks the anniversary of my mother's death. During that week, the last thing my sister said to my mother, was that she was going to make her marriage work. I remember that it was the Wednesday night following Labor Day. I heard my mother crying in the living room after the conversation.

There's so much to tell but it isn't my story. And this man is indeed a character worth exploring on the pages of a book. After hearing all that she's gone through, all that she allowed him to do to her, I've decided to distance myself from her. Unlike her, he can't intimidate nor manipulate me.

I guess like some of my friends have said, if you're angry with him, you are probably angry with her too. For the longest time I blamed them both for my mother's death - and yes they played a big part in breaking her heart. So yes, I'm angry with her too.